In the world of everyday sexism, mansplaining and women being permanently told they don’t need feminism because we already have the ability to drive, vote and get a job, I’m certainly not the only person in the world to be given a blatantly sexist comment and been forced to bite my tongue, take a step back and few deep breaths whilst figuring out how best to handle a situation. But today, sadly, I realised I may have to shut down my pointless beauty blog because it was all about exploitation, money, and was making me look less attractive to men…
Why, a woman is more beautiful to men without crap on their faces,, men don’t put sh*t on theirs but women find them attractive. Money money money,, exploitation is what this sh*t is about
This quote is copied and pasted, poor punctuation and all, everything except some words I’ve censored out (I almost missed this post because I have a profanity filter on my page), from my Facebook page for this blog. The page was launched yesterday and this was my very first comment. Clearly, my post about a Too Faced primer displeased this man who didn’t feel that women needed makeup and he felt the need to put his point across. I should mention that a) I’ve never met this man in my life, and b) He clearly does not fit the demographic of people that would read my blog. But his comment felt wholly unnecessary. If you see something on social media you don’t like, just move on. Starting fights on social media is so unnecessary, but it’s something people insist on doing every day. Prove them wrong and it’s ‘Just Banter, get over yourself’. So after reading this, I took a step back and thought about how best to handle it. Clearly, telling this man what I thought about his comment wouldn’t help matters, he was here to start a fight and saw nothing but blind truth in his comment. So I thought an open response to this kind of comment was the only solution, at least so I could get my thoughts out on the internet where they could linger forever…
Why, a woman is more beautiful to men without crap on their faces,,
The first thing I have to say in response to this is that beauty is entirely subjective and attraction is a lot more complicated than someone being attractive or not attractive in the eyes of all. It has a genetic and evolutionary basis and is all based on who would be a good fit to have your children. That’s going to be different to everyone. It really has nothing to do with makeup but if you think someone is more attractive without any makeup on, good for you. It does not make your view universal and it is not passed as law. In no way should your beliefs inspire you to tell a woman in her twenties, that you have never met, that you think that all men would find her, and every other woman on the planet, more beautiful if she didn’t bother with makeup. It shouldn’t inspire you to tell a woman of any age that she would look more attractive without makeup, no matter if you know her or not. If she is your partner, then fair play to you, but if she still chooses to wear makeup after you tell her then that is not your call. Telling any other woman that you think women are more attractive without makeup is essentially saying you would find her more attractive if she didn’t wear makeup, which quite frankly makes you the world’s biggest arsehole. If she takes your comment to heart, which she shouldn’t, all the more so. All you’re essentially doing is validating her existence and appearance, because you are a man and women are only valid in the opinions of men.
Now, 99.9% of the time, if you tell a woman that you think she would look better without makeup on, she will shrug her shoulders and not take any of your comments on board. And for good reason – she isn’t wearing that makeup for your pleasure! She’s wearing it for a multitude of reasons – She likes wearing it; she’s gotten creative with her look this morning and wants someone to see it; she feels more confident; she’s having a bad skin day and wants to cover it up; she like the way it looks or feels; these are just a handful of reasons why women wear makeup! I’ve been in love with makeup since I was 12 years old and wear it because I love it. I love picking out products, testing them, creating looks with them. I take selfies and I put them online to show off my makeup products. And any man that decides that is an invitation for them to send me a creepy message will find themselves blocked. Because the point is to show a look, and my confidence off, to the world. Not to be attractive. Not to invite men to comment on my appearance. I wear makeup for me. And so do most of the women who wear makeup. No one wears makeup to impress or attract men.
And also, who appointed you the speaker for all men? You might want to have a word with my ex boyfriend who once plainly told me that I was pretty enough without makeup but did look a hell of a lot better with it on. My current boyfriend loves my makeup looks but thinks I look beautiful with it on or off, and knows he doesn’t get a say in whether or not I wear it. Some men love women in makeup, some men don’t. Your opinion is not mainstream and does not matter to anyone expect yourself.
men don’t put sh*t on theirs but women find them attractive
This is quite a laughable comment really. Again, attraction is a different ball game, one more complicated than whether or not one party is wearing makeup. And it’s very ignorant to assume we find men attractive because they don’t wear makeup, or despite the fact that they don’t. There’s a multitude of reasons that a woman might find a man attractive, but some pretty big ones are physical appearance and scent. Physical appearance is still altered in men all the time, e.g. by growing/shaving beards, having tattoos, going to the gym to build muscle. And again, beauty, found in the physical appearance, is all in the eye of the beholder. What one woman finds attractive another woman might not. And let’s not leave behind the growing trend of men wearing makeup or being makeup artists. I know most people with such misogynistic opinions will immediately say “But those men are gay”, and I would reply by asking if that seriously makes them less of a man? They still have the same genitals as you, and they choose to put makeup on their face. Or they don’t wear makeup despite their sexuality not being the same as yours. Or perhaps they’re straight and want to wear makeup. It’s not up to you to say they can’t. At the end of the day, society has told you and thousands like you that men do not wear makeup. Women do. Yet you think we’re in the wrong for bending to societal norms? Please, don’t try and explain to me why!
And onto the other big attractor – Smell. I’ve lived with 2 men in my life, and the current one goes against the norm by showering twice a day, using a nicely scented body wash and then putting on aftershave, which I like the smell of. The other man would shower once a week unless nagged otherwise and would not wash his beard. So this lack of ‘sh*t’ that men put on their face keeps them attractive? A lack of personal hygiene and use of men’s hygiene products is one of many factors that led to our breakup. Just because it doesn’t go on your face, doesn’t make you pure. And what about men that shave? Aren’t they putting ‘sh*t’ all over their face, altering their appearance to attract a woman? I thought they shaved for personal preference or because they found it cleaner? When they alter their face by growing a beard, isn’t that putting something on their face? I’m confused. Do I need a man to explain to me that this is okay because a man does it and it’s not makeup? Please, don’t elaborate. My female brain might not handle it.
Money money money,, exploitation is what this sh*t is about
Perhaps so, after all, my ‘sh*t’ is probably worth a month’s rent. But the beauty industry is a billion dollar one. It’s not going to filter out based on the opinion of one man and perhaps the one woman who stops wearing makeup because of his comments. More men, clever enough to see the money making possibilities behind the beauty and skincare industries, and going to endorse it than men that honestly think their opinion on what makes a woman universally attractive is gospel. Actually, do they know your thoughts? You should probably send them a letter so they can see where they’re going wrong. Perhaps they’ll shut down their billion dollar industries and move somewhere else to make that kind of money. I mean, the women employed in that sector just stand to fill the gaps and make mega bucks. But they’re wrong, right? And not attractive because they are probably wearing makeup…
And I should also remind you that you commented on the post of a beauty blogger. Someone whose hobby is makeup and their blog is a way of utilizing that hobby. Makeup is my passion, a passion you wish to destroy by saying I, and my entire audience, would be more attractive without makeup, rendering my blog and thousands like it pointless. Sorry girls and boys, we best all shut down our blogs now, because one person on the internet, who thinks insulting people behind a computer screen without reading their material is acceptable behaviour, thinks all women are more attractive without makeup and are being exploited by the beauty industry. Don’t forget that apparently no men pull this kind of wool over our eyes, are completely innocent and leagues above us in terms of reproach, because we like wearing makeup. But for those of you that choose not to wear makeup, rejoice! Your existence is validated, because one man on the internet thinks you’re more attractive because you happen to be comfortable not wearing makeup. I salute you, you validated things!
So, to all women and men who chose to wear makeup and those who chose not to wear it – you are perfect, in your own unique, flawed state. You do not need any man who thinks their opinion is gospel to validate you. This is why feminism is still needed, and must still be fought for. Because the kind of men that tell women we already have it all will criticize us on our appearance for one tiny thing they don’t like, invalidating our existence because they personally would find us better looking if we didn’t do that. Just like that, everything the Women’s Movement fought for takes a few steps back. And what if I did take all my makeup off? What about the man on the other side of the internet that will inevitably comment that “What the F**k? You need to put on some makeup you ugly b**ch.”? Is your opinion still valid? Or should I now use his opinion to validate me?
Also, if you don’t know Jack Sh*t about makeup, don’t comment on a beauty blogger’s posts. The post you commented on was a review of a primer, which won’t do much to alter a woman’s appearance, but will create a nice base for all that makeup that makes her look less attractive. You killed your point before you even started.
This is a little off topic but has been a great way to let off some steam! And two posts in one day? What am I doing?